Thoughts from the Bride

I’ve been on quite the hiatus, not just from the blog but from wedding planning. I want to be frank and honest: I’m bad at weddings, maybe by choice, maybe through frustration. Some people were born to plan grand weddings with hired fairies to float the ball room floor. I don’t know what I was born for, but wedding planning is far from my vocation.

To fail is to suffer agony in Tartarus, is my mantra. I don’t fail. But I’ve had to admit that maybe it’s acceptable to be better at writing articles on manufacturing technology than picking out flowers. At the moment, I’d prefer to be better at linen colors. Or bear racing. No, shark racing. The World’s Fastest Shark Racer, a game of blood, death and limb loss.

That has nothing to do with weddings. I’ve been keen on sharing my experiences because I want other people out there to empathize/ know I empathize with them. Unfortunately, I don’t have much advice for brides at the moment. My maid of honor has taken charge of the florist and caterer and my fiance is working on the DJ while I’ve been in Texas telling people about 3D printing. However! I have some advice for wedding guests…

1. Please don’t ask if you can bring a guest. You’ve clearly only watched simpering “chic flics” where everyone has to have a wedding guest to exaggerate the main heroine’s lack thereof. Of course we’d love it if you could bring your fraternity. But we are having a small wedding, and inviting you meant excluding one of my childhood friends. If that’s not good enough for you I’m sure she’d be glad to take your place. (Not that we aren’t thrilled and blessed to have you in attendance.) Seriously though, it makes us so uncomfortable to say “no” after we’ve tried to move the budget around.
2. That being said, I do have one advice for brides. A good rule of thumb if you need to keep the guest count in check: If your guest has a husband/ wife or long term partner/ bf/ gf invite their someone. Married couples are pretty obvious, but if the guest has a someone they’ve been dating for years make sure they get invited. Besides, you want your guest to have a good time! Make sure guests have a date if it’s unlikely they will know anyone else.
3. If you want to assist the bride/ groom in some way with the wedding, volunteer to help the day of via setting something up or transporting the cake. There are a million day-of tasks that I haven’t even begun to stress over, and the most wonderful thing in the world is being offered wedding day aid. Sending me pictures of table decorations you think I should have: Not so helpful, though sweet of you to think of me!

I know weddings are about celebrating with people you love, which is why our guest list is really special to us. It’s difficult remembering, as a bride, that this isn’t just a big party where I’m obligated to feel guilty that I forgot to invite my friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s sister. Weddings are about saying goodbye and hello. Weddings are about sharing the beginnings of a new life with those you want in your new married life as you grow into two people who live together and pay bills and stupid taxes.

Such romance.